Today is officially the first full day of shelter in place (although it technically began at 5pm last night). Awoke to birds chirping and three remaining pages of my writing notebook that I only use for the morning pages.
Caulked the tub. More like caulked the shelf in the shower above the tub. We used Dollar General caulk and a butter knife so it looks a bit like a sweaty birthday cake.
Took a walk. Few people out. No joy in sight. I contemplated walking into the animal shelter and asking, 'Do you have some joy here? May I have some?'
Shelter in place really isn't that bad. I feel as if I prefer it. Going outside has always made me incredibly anxious. I shouldn't say always. It's something that crept up on me in the past 8 years. It happened at some point when I was living in New York. I'm not going to analyze that to pieces, but let's just say I did live in a ground floor apartment in a not great part of town. So yeah, that might've added to my inability to step outside with joy. Or step outside with any sort of ease.
Anyway, this is Day 1. I made a God Jar. If you've gotten through all 12 weeks of the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, then you're familiar. If you're not, the God Jar is a jar that holds your fears, dreams, hopes and worries. You write your feelings on pieces of paper and toss them in the jar. I don't believe in God. I believe in magic, and more precisely, fairies. So it's my fairy jar. I plan on letting my fairy jar fill to the brim with my hopes and fears. When it's overflowing, I'll dump it out and analyze the notes and see if I managed to work through anything. If not, I'll make it a point to work through every little item until that jar is empty again.
Wearing a neon yellow sweater and staring outside at the puppies walking by. It seems like everyone has a puppy. A reminder of life starting anew.